Hello out there in the greater blogosphere. We (me) here at Continuous Fire wish you happy holidays whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza or the 5^th Cricle of Damnation Worship to the Great Old Ones. We all know that this is a wonderful season of meeting up with old friends, consuming lots of alcohol around them and generally making an ass of yourself.

There is one stressful thing however, gift giving. Now if you’re a douchebag this isn’t a problem since you’ll probably regift or hand out McDonalds gift certificates like the thoughtless jerk you are (btw this is the reason why you weren’t invited to last year’s New Years party.) However me and the people who are in the spirit of giving like to provide something more thoughtful, something the recipient will actually appreciate.

To that end I always think it’s difficult to purchase gifts for women because everything you buy will always be though of as having subtext beyond the thought of “we’ll she’ll appreciate it.” You get her clothes and she’ll think you think she has no fashion sense; you get her chocolate she’ll assume you feel she loves chocolate and this is a fatty and so on. You can’t submit and get her a gift card, because then you’re an insensitive clod. Today though we’re not discussing on what to buy women because I’m hardly an expert and will probably be beaten on the streets with the suggestions I’d come up with.

No we’ll discuss ladies who this article is directed to on what to get your boyfriend or husband aged 18-40. For you see women have the same stress men do when they try to decide a gift for them except the subtext doesn’t exist with men. We’re simply binary switches, gift is either good or bad. Varying degrees of good and bad are moot because ultimately 90% of men this age simply want a gift they’ll enjoy, we’ll call it the Peter Pan 12 Year Old Boy syndrome.

Now just because we’re simpler in mentality doesn’t mean we’re simple to shop for. Guys like toys, they like gear, but when it comes to gifts they want the best. You can’t simply buy a guy like a Hellboy DVD, you need to buy him the 3 disc collectors edition on Blu Ray with a small replica Golden Army “collectible figure.” And it’s not like we’d get this version if we’d go out and buy it, but when it’s a gift it has to be the best, it has to be big it has to be something we’d necessarily would get.

The following suggestion I’m about to make may cause you to balk, we are in tough economic times but hear me out, because this gift will also benefit you so don’t think of it as JUST a thoughtful gift which it also is but also an investment.

Buy you boyfriend an Xbox 360.

(Before anyone out there calls me a fanboy you can simply replace “Xbox 360” with “Playstation 3”, “Wii” or whatever, I’m just going with Xbox 360 because it’s the most popular system at the moment. Now with ire and anger subsided we’ll continue with our holiday message)

How does an Xbox 360 benefit you is the question that is on your mind. I always feel in a relationship especially if you’re two people meeting from outside of each others original circles that it’s important to at least in someway win over the friends of the person you’re dating. Getting an Xbox 360 is an instant ticket to win their hearts in a less than emotional way but now that they have a place to hold their Madden 09 tournaments you’ll get every comment from “dude, you’re awesome” to “Best. Girlfriend. Ever!”

As I said before it’s sometimes difficult for a girl to purchase a gift for their beau except if they have a game console. Now it becomes disgustingly easy. Metacritic becomes your new friend here as most guys who become gamers will want to play any high rated game if offered the chance to play it for free. Peruse the site, look up the highest rated game for the platform and hand it to him. When you say “hey honey, I picked up Bioshock for you” you will only get a reply of elation. Also, if you’re a gamer yourself or dabble you can always pass off the “greedy gift” like picking up Rock Band 2 and ending up playing more often then he does. He won’t mind, you got him Rock Band and he’ll be elated you’re joining in!

Most importantly though if you’re serious about your relationship and want it to work out you must get him an Xbox 360 because it’ll offer the greatest peace of mind that can ever have. Now unfortunately in the world today infidelity is more rampant than it should be. I’m not a person who condones cheating at all, personally think it’s despicable but I know why guys cheat, boredom. See for women I find at least from what I’ve been told it’s for sparking a fire, for getting something different. For guys it’s very much an “idle hands” deal here. It doesn’t have to be sex that occupies their time, but if sex is present why not. If you buy your boyfriend an Xbox 360 he will never cheat on you. How can he, he’s too busy trying to trek through the Capital Wasteland or killing Locust for the good of mankind or achieving a perfect 18-0 run in the NFL. Hell you might be able to get some reprieve once in a while because it’ll be fine if you go out one night with the girlfriends so long as you let him stay in and work on finishing 50 levels of Horde in Gears of War.

So please girlfriends do yourself a favor by doing your boyfriend a favor by buying him an Xbox 360. It’ll truly be the most magical gift of all for you and your relationship.