13 Nintendo Miss-steps
March 5, 2009, 11:23 pm
Filed under: Player Inventory | Tags: , ,

ROB The Robot

robotic_operating_buddy

Even Nintendo fanboys, for all the good the company has done for the game industry, must admit that sometimes the Big N does some serious fuck ups. Even early on with the NES Nintendo was forced to make the system more appealing to retailers ROB was created to give the Nintendo a more “toy” like feel after the stigma video games received after the Atari crash. The end result was ROB was released with two piss poor games and really never used again, collecting dust in many a closet.

Famicom Disk System

While the Famicom disk system helped bring a new level of gaming, bringing upon the concept of lengthy games that required saves and such the very nature of the rewritable media led to much rampant piracy in Japan, so much so that the planned American release was shelved. In Nintendo’s future the ability for a system to read discs would come to bite it back when numerous piracy devices would use similar technique for the SNES and N64.

The Wizard and Super Mario Bros. The Movie

With the recent release of Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li, many people groaned at the fact that a mediocre movie was being released to promote a high profile game. Don’t forget who did this debacle first. Nintendo tried to pimp it’s upcoming Super Mario Bros as well as the Power Glove with a half baked version of Rain Man with video games. A source of unintentional humor for years only the truly nerdy (cough ME) saw this in theaters. Hey don’t hate, I was able to impress people when I showed them where the flutes were!

Super Mario Bros didn’t fair much better. Ignoring the fact the Super Mario Bros just doesn’t have the meat on it to make a real live action movie writers and directors decided to just wing it and come up with horrible new ideas like a Mushroom Kingdom that’s like a cartoony Balde Runner and a Yoshi that looks disgustingly real. Look here folks, GOOMBAS SHOULD NOT LOOK LIKE THIS.

goomba

Gameboy, GBA and Nintendo DS Upgrades

While financially these have NEVER been bad for the Big N as a gamer they piss me off to NO END.

Superscope 6

262809-super_scope_super

What’s always puzzled me was the success of the zapper for the NES with very few games associated with it. Really who played anything else but Duck Hunt? Well it seems that was enough for Nintendo to release a light gun peripheral for the Super NES, the gaudy unwieldly and strangely inaccurate Superscope 6. Biggest burn from this piece of crap? Nintendo touting family values during the 1994 Senate hearings only to have a Sega rep bring out the plastic bazooka

SNES CD-ROM Drive

With Sega about to launch the Sega CD the SNES went into panic mode trying to find someone to help them build a CD Rom peripheral of their own to combat. Unfortunately what happened was the Sega CD flopped and Nintendo, seeing that gamers do not want to add expensive addons to their existing consoles, spurned two would be suitors. Phillips would end up getting the rights to release shitty Nintendo licensed games on their woeful CD-I system but Sony, feeling embarrassed that Nintendo dropped them, took their CD-Rom technology and eventually created the Playstation from it. The rest they say, is history.

Cartridges for the N64

While Nintendo cited the use of catridges was purely with “gamers in mind” those in the know knew the decisions were beyond that. No load times is nice but really the cartridges allowed Nintendo to charge a higher licensing fee (cost to developers to release a game on the first party’s platform) as well as attempt to curb piracy. The result was losing Square whose Final Fantasy VII needed 4 CD roms, far too much for any N64 catridge to handle.

Gamecube Controller

gamecube_controller

Nintendo is always trying to change the way games are controlled. We’re seeing it now with the Wii and the Nintendo DS, hell even that large abomination of the N64 controller was better than expected. So what the hell happened to the Gamecube controller? It’s weird button placement and nearly useless D Pad make it a strange curiosity which is too bad, ergonomically it was designed great but the buttons just made it practically useless for games with complex button combos like fighting and sports games.

No Blood for Mortal Kombat

Having been slammed by parental advocate groups for years due to health and addiction concerns video games in the 16 bit era were being hit with a new angle from critics; violence. Video games, as they stated, were getting more and more violent and realistically violent, like say, the buckets of blood being knocked out of people from Midway’s Mortal Kombat. For the SNES release Nintendo didn’t want the extra cotronversey so they forced Acclaim to release a sanitized version of the game, where “sweat” flies off the enemies and some of the games more gory Fatalties were altered. The result? A technically inferior Gensis version completely outsold the SNES version, forcing Nintendo to allow the blood back in for Mortal Kombat II and a stigma of being a “kiddie” system that will never go away despite their best efforts to release mature titles on their latest platforms.

Suing Galoob over Game Genie

The Game Genie cheat device allowed gamers to patch codes onto their games and unlock new powers and variables. Harmless enough right? Nintendo never saw it this way finding it to create derivative works of existing code. The law suit however was tossed out costing Nintendo legal fees as well as making them look like a bully, especially when rivals Sega fully endorsed the product even giving it a seal of approval.

Friend Codes

There really isn’t much to say here. People like to be able to play with their friends online, so why Nintnedo DO YOU MAKE IT SO BLEEDING HARD TO DO THIS?

Virtual Boy

virtualboy

After years of bitching how the Game Boys was black and white Nintendo released their behemoth Visor that had graphics in… black and red. Using the whole VR buzz of the mid 90’s Virtual Boy was to present unprecedented 3D play in colors that would make your eyes bleed. “Boy” was a relative term because while it was portable trying to play with without the included tripod would result in a snapped neck. Furthermore the fact that the 8 AA’s needed for the behemoth would last maybe thirty minutes of game time made this more of an odd curiosity then a true contender for the world of console OR hand held gaming.

Advertisements

1 Comment so far
Leave a comment

I don’t know why, but the Virtual Boy seemed very hard to control it ..

Comment by Lena




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s



%d bloggers like this: